October 2011
1 post
too hurt. too sad. all i want is him. i’m gone. i left that morning. that kiss goodbye. that goodbye sex. that last night with him. he held me so tightly. he sang to me. he held my hand and told me he didn’t want to hurt me anymore and now i’m gone. and now i’m hurting so much. he won’t stop hurting me until hes with me. he’s all i want.
June 2011
1 post
too good to be true
i’d rather be treated like shit then like a princess so this wouldn’t hurt so bad. so this didn’t sting deep into my body, penetrating every inch of me. burning so badly that it takes my breath away. my heart won’t stop racing. why? over this guy. this guy who spent the night with me. who took me camping, who taught me things, showed me things, likes the same books an...
April 2011
1 post
February 2011
1 post
8 tags
you're still here.
If I was going down fast in an airplane and could make one last phone call to a loved one, it would be you. If I had one last gasping breath I would tell you that I still love you. I would want you to tell me you love me just one last time. Tell me I’m your favorite, just one more time. Because as much as I am over you, I still love you. I will always always always love you. The first time...
December 2010
3 posts
10 tags
I want you.
I’m all yours.
4 tags
p.s.
i talked to fairy tale book boy, again. first time he sent me a winkie face, i asked him how he is. no response. no surprise… later drunk texted him a picture of me pouting. telling him i have a cabin, wishing he was spending the night with me. he responded with, me too :.
few weeks later, drunk again, asked him if he was going to be in cali this summer, because i will. he said...
8 tags
just maybe.
just maybe, i do like him. just maybe though. i don’t want to do something as foolish as liking a boy who isn’t good enough. but what is good enough? i’m not sure yet. but he’s not it. and i can’t like a boy who has spent months and months and hasn’t made me his girlfriend. not that i want him to. but, he’s not for me. he can’t be. no. no. no. get...
November 2010
8 posts
something needs to change
my life is boring right now.
4 tags
it's just the way we are tied in
he didn’t respond. is that supposed to surprise me? i’m not too terribly sad. i wish he would have. i would have liked to talk to him again. liked to believe that maybe my fairy tale night could happen again in the near future. that maybe he was still thinking about me and that maybe i wasn’t just a random fuck. but i was. and he was for me, too. i didn’t fall in love with...
6 tags
Looking back --
“I really want to fall in love with some random guy who lives across the USA for a night. I want to have the best night I have ever had in my life with this guy. The best kiss, maybe even more. And then I want him to leave and go back home and never talk to him again.
Am I crazy? Maybe so”
My wish from over a year ago, came true. I fell in love with a random guy, had the best...
4 tags
don't forget.
“youre unreal.”
“what?”
“you can’t be real. you’re too perfect.”
I don’t care how cheesy it was or how many times he’s said that to another girl. It was the nicest thing a boy has ever said to me.
I want to relive the night all over again and again and again.
October 2010
1 post
14 tags
It must have been a dream.
how did that feel so perfect? how did I feel like i’ve known you forever? how was that sex so god damn good? someone, please fill me in.
how does meeting some one and randomly taking a road trip… lead to this. to this craving. at least i have fan videos and pictures to look at. at least i have that to hold me over. and i hope I’m not just another number, i hope you were as blown...
August 2010
1 post
you did just that
i hate you. i miss you.
March 2010
1 post
hmm..
the feelings i have for you are hard to explain. i feel like you do have them back… but you keep using me and i see that. i see that clearly. but i know… there has to be something in your head that tells you that you do really have feelings for me. the way you kiss me shows me that. but who am i to judge how someone kisses… it’s all just to get some. thats all that everyone...
November 2009
1 post
October 2009
7 posts
do i?
remember what it’s like to be completely happy?
I can’t remember the last time I was. I can’t remember what it felt like. Can someone remind me what a day is like with out crying?
i don't know what i've done
or if i like what i’ve become.
this isn’t me. but i think i’m okay with it. i’m growing up and trying to move on.
i’ve never been more deppressed. tears overcome me multiple times aday. just thinking about you and everything we’ve done together. all of the wonderful times i’ve spent wrapped in your arms. all of the times you were there for me. the smiles...
“If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will...”
– Unknown (via littlemiss)
“It’s not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the...”
– Along Came Polly (via littlemiss)
pleaseeee i need something really good right now. i need him to leave.
so..
i spent the night with him.
we fucked.
twice.
;)
September 2009
8 posts
yeah
it’s tiring, isn’t it.
the minute he wants you you’re down to want him too. but when he doesn’t want you, you still want him. it’s not fair. i dont want to like him anymore. i’m tired of being overly excited nad overly sad.
and for you, s. yes. ill suck your fucking dick. why? because i’m crazy. because i don’t care anymore.
and i want my...
really now?
I broke up with him. I couldn’t keep doing that to him. I couldn’t keep doing it to myself.
And now I miss him more then ever. Why do I always want somethign I can have? But I would still have the same problems. He still doesn’t have anything going for his life and for himself, nor do i feel sexually attracted to him, and i’m tired of helping him and don’t have...
and then
it was over. just like that.
he doesn’t understand. he thinks it’s a break. i wish it was a break. i can’t keep doing this to myself. i love him and want him back already, but i can’t. it’s over. i’m done.
i love you, d.
so much. i’ll never forget you, and i’ll always miss you.
17 tags
the worst part is.
how do i not feel bad for what I have been doing? how do I not want to tell him? how do i want to stop and never do it again? what am i doing and where is this going?
because i told you i like you. and i’m sure you like me too. even though you can’t admit it, even though you sound unsure when you finally agreed. you didn’t have to say yes, you know. you didn’t have to....
wow.
i don’t do things like this. i’m not that kind of girl
wake up call. i’m going to put 110% into d and i’s relationship. i owe it to him. that’s the least i owe to him. i don’t think i love him anymore and i don’t think i want to be with him. but there’s a big part of me that begs to differ. so, i’m going to fight for the love i had with him...
he kissed me.
what the fuck am i doing.
August 2009
19 posts
what's going on.
what am i doing??
i love D. why am i doing this? why am i falling for someone else? why am i lieing and sneaking to his house to watch movies and fall asleep and come home again at 4.
i’m guilty. red handed. this is wrong.
this is so wrong.
last night could have been bad. i tried to leave sooner, i did. but maybe i didn’t try hard enough because i didn’t want to try hard...
“We’re just afraid, period. Our fear is free floating. We’re afraid this isn’t...”
– Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love (via quotewhore)
Oh shut up. Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you hurt, you heal. After darkness, there is always light and you get reminded of this every morning but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good or the bad. So you might as well smile while you’re here.
http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/
If you’ve got the time, we can play a game. It’s easy. We just see if I’m the same shape as the space you have inside you. If everything fits, we both win. If it doesn’t, don’t force it. That’s how you get splinters in your heart.
- http://pleasefindthis.blogspot.com/
love.
you like me, don’t you?
and I like you, don’t I?
I feel guilty… I feel bad. but i’m not doing anything too wrong, am I? I’m just hanging out with my best friend, right? I can’t tell you though… you would get mad and jealous. I’m just hanging out with him. Just going over late to watch movies. Just to fall asleep. That’s all.
But...
“In life, we do things. Some, we wish we had never done and some we wish we could...”
– Unknown (via littlemiss)
worry
i know things get hard sometimes.
sometimes everything that is supposed to feel perfect, feels like a disaster. my relationship seems pointless. i want someone i can’t have. and he probably has no interest in me. i keep going with the man who does love me, yet i don’t know if I love him. I love him 50/50.
i’ve been told relationships are supposed to be 50/50. but i...
“A soul-mate is like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world...”
– (via runawaytrain) (via hallofmirrors) (via riotgirl) (via nashamble) (via peetypassion)
“You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the...”
– Brian Tracy (via littlemiss)
stop hurting yourself.
“eh I guess.. it wasn’t worth it.”
you’re right, it wasn’t worth it. i know that too. it just hurts to hear it from you. you didn’t lose anything. you didn’t hurt anyone. but it wasn’t even worth it to you, either?
ouch.
and then i just HAVE to bring it up. i just HAVE to ask him, why it wasn’t worth it. but no, i can’t make it...
remember
you wanted this, girl. and you got it. hold your head up and keep on trucking through. good things are coming, this is a good thing. work while your young. you can do it. look, you still had an amazingday. go get in bed and wake up and smell the coffee and get through another day of work and then have another wonderful day. not soo bad, is it? soon, you can sleep in later than 7. it’ll be...
stop.
trying too hard to stay connecting with those don’t matter. those who have caused pain or problems. trying to relive the moments that were great, trying to recreate the past. but it doesn’t work that way.
memories ingraved in my head with be sufficient, enough. nothing can take you back to old memories and nothing can change the past to make it easier to live with.
i need to stop...