January 2009
22 posts
my stomach is still turning
I knew you had feelings for me all along. Ever since last night I couldn’t help but think, “what if?” What if I would have told you. What if you would have told me? Would things be different right now? Where would I be? What would I be doing friday nights? Would we have been together? Would it have lasted? Would I have even met the boy in my life now? If so, would we still be...
sometimes
all i do is look at things that i could do. things i want to do. and things i should do.
sometimes i look at things too much and dont do anything. my room is still a disaster yet i want it to be simple, clean, and like the pictures i look at. I want to paint and make things. yet my canvas are clean and my hands are too busy clicking and typing to do anything different.
sometimes technology and...
From: +########31 Msg: You’ll never know how much i love you
Wish you were here. Wish i loved you more when you were. Wish things didn’t feel weird.
Sometimes love isn’t enough
try again later, yeah. that's it.
I’ll try the pantoon poem again later. Re write my story. Maybe when i’m extremely happy with our relationship at the moment. it will be okay. show the true colors of what he really means to me. because i would be nothing with out him.
but thats a lie. i would possibly be more.
no that’s a lie too.
but i wouldn’t be nothing. just would feel friendless. i’ve seem...
again?
Half the day was missed again because of my unmotivated self. Sleepless nights and finding reasons to go wasn’t good enough.
This shouldn’t have ended up like this. Poems are the calculus of english. It shows the true story, the true feelings. This makes me cry. Fall apart a little. Is it real?
Finding reasons why I held onto him
Wrapped in his arms while his mind was on someone...
this is twice now
i stayed home again. i’m sick. but well enough to go. i’m just so scared that i needed to work on my essays more, i would miss the entire day. it’s okay. it’s okay. get back tomorrow and make up what you missed. it’s okay. it’s okay.
paint
don’t forget to paint this week.
its okay, really!
I just realized. Today was the day I was worried about yesterday. Tomorrow will be here in no time. All I have to do is get the essays done. All I have to do is finish up. If i dont do well„„, well oh well! no matter what. things will work out. I will have a 3.5 or higher, no matter what. I will go to college and have a good job, no matter what. tomorrow will be okay. don’t...
It really shouldn't.
I really shouldn’t be this sad when you don’t text me back. I really shouldn’t be this excited when I see your name on the screen. I really really shouldn’t like the idea of you telling me you love me. I know it’s nothing. I know it would have never and will never be. But why do I get that giddy feeling? I think it’s my brain. The receptors connect so much back...
the ring doesn't fit
Sometimes I feel really anxious for no reason. School was okay. I saw David and Madison today whom i missed! I will miss those kids when I don’t have that class anymore. David kept trying to take my hat off and playing with my hair. Our first semester is now going to be extended which i’m very happy to hear!
I went to my work to get my 120 dollar check. i deposited over 200 bucks!...
really though, i am.
i’m trusting you. i’m paranoid / over examine everything. but as much as my brain tells me never to believe you, never to trust, my heart tells me something very different. i always go with my heart.
or maybe it will. only time will tell.
I woke up refreshed, yet tired. I crawled out of bed and made my way to the shower. I used my lemon soap in hopes of refreshing and awakening me more. I made my bed and put my pjs away. *WOW*. I went to school, it wasn’t so bad. As much as I hate it. It’s okay at the same time.
I babysat, came home, and ALMOST went to sleep. I told myself no more naps! If i’m tired, I’ll...
i'm sorry. really, i am.
but this won’t work out in the long run.
I feel a change coming along...
I think things are going to change. I feel like i’m ready to start doing the things I always tell myself to do, but don’t. More motivated. More determined. Less stress? Yes!
Work hard. Go to school more. Study, Study, Study.
Don’t stop, ever. Learn. Save. Love. Relax. Enjoy. Healthy.
Find greatness in everything. Don’t take shortcuts and easy-way-outs.
Do. Do. Do.
...